Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
