Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize