Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
