8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
