The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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