shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize