I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize