Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
