Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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