when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
