She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
