She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
