I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
