not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
