id be glad to
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
