I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
