You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
