can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
