I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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