This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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