Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
