trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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