she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
