It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize