I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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