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she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
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