did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
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you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.