He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
