True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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