At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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