That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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