Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just google imaged poop.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
