just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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