I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You're so nebulous sometimes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
