My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
