You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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