He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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