the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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