I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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