Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
