Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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