he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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