Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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