How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You pole danced in your parka.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
