i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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