This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
