That's when you crack a 10am beer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize