8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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