All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
