You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
