i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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