just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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