I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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