i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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