She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Crop dusting thru forever 21
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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