Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
