She's JV to your varsity
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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