Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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