Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I AM VODKA MAN
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
