Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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