Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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