we're blogging at a bar
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
